shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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