my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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