Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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