I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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