my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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