i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
His nipple licking is glorious
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