Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
