is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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