Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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