She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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