dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
being pregnant is like rehab
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
