Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
