you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
