me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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