Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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