matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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