one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
