He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
