i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
