I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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