Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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