He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
