We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
