im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
