Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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