just survived the first fart of the relationship.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
