apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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