please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
