you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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