I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
