It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
