Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
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