I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
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My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
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There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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