i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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