I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
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I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
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The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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