just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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