i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
