I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
