Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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