it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
