fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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