bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
