He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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