I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize