Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
