the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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