They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
