the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
