all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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