Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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