FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
