That's intense
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
