The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
