He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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