There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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