Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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