I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
