I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
