Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
