Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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