I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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